cc by pixabay / tpsdave

cc by pixabay / tpsdave

Rating: NC-17
Summary: Jack visits Irina to bring everything to a conclusion.

Spoilers: Season 4 (Authorized Personel Only 1 + 2)
Warning: Character death
A/N: This story actually made me cry while I wrote it. I have never written such a dark and hopeless piece before, still, while re-reading it, I thought it was worth posting it.

Dedication: This song was inspired by Delta Goodrem’s song „Last Night on Earth“ and because this is not the only story that has been inspired by her songs, I dedicate this piece to her. Her incredible music helped so many times to open the door to my fantasy when I thought I had lost it. Thank you…


This is one of my older stories written before 2006. My style in this story differs greatly, due to lack of experience. One of these days, if I get the time, I plan on revising these older stories thoroughly.

Until then, please excuse the many flaws, and rest assured, I know better now. ;) (Or at least I hope so.)


The sun rose in the horizon, turning the sea and its waves into melting lava. Never ever would he be able to forgive her – to forgive himself. His world was shattered – her last breath had taken all meaning out of it. It was as if he had lived for her – as if his only purpose had been to chase her, to find her and then to fail. Two souls, bound by fate, and separated forever by the circumstances of life.

People were talking of hell all the time, but maybe there would be no hell after death. Maybe hell was their life on earth.

For a little eternity, he stared at the weapon in his hand, then threw it wide into the wild waves – giving it away as a toy for the ghosts of the ocean.

Almost coldly he turned and looked down. He felt dead inside, without emotion. No hate, no anger and no hope left. Nothing was still alive – not even his heart.

His hand stroked away a strand of hair from her lifeless face. Lying there so peacefully while a soft breeze played with some strands of her hair, she looked like a sleeping angel. His fingers stroked along the lines of her red lips, wiping away some blood. He felt lost, without any more hold left in life. Hating her had been what had made him get up each morning, loving her had given him hope.

The deed that was supposed to set him free forever, to make him forget her and go on, had finally chained him to her eternally. Her last words had shattered his world.

Carefully, he lifted her dead body and stepped closer to the edge of the cliff. With the next breath of the wind, he dropped her dead body off the cliff and watched her fall endlessly, until the hungry waves finally swallowed her, pulling her into their embrace, never to be found again.

“You were right,” Jack Bristow finally murmured. “It was never enough… it will never ever be.”

— 24 hours earlier —

The mood was depressed in the huge office in Langley at this early hour. Ten pairs of eyes stared at the man standing in front of the council, holding their questioning gazes.

Kendall unfolded his arms and wrinkled his forehead, shaking his head slightly.
“You can’t be serious.”

He was the first to talk after the revelation, and Jack Bristow looked at him.

“Knowing me, you should know that my amount of humor is limited – especially when it comes to Irina Derevko.”

“But Jack, excuse me if I ask you this, but are you out of your mind? You are asking for official permission to assassinate Derevko? Let me correct that! To assassinate a valuable source, who is also you ex-wife by the way?”

“Yes.” Jack simply replied – any other words were superfluous. Kendall scoffed in disbelief and looked at the other men at the table, then back at Jack.

“And what, if I may ask, is the reason for your request?”

“Yesterday afternoon I received intel that a sniper has been hired. A sniper tasked to kill Sydney Bristow, who is not only my daughter, but also one of our most valuable field agents. We cannot risk losing such an important agent. The order for the hit was traced back to a village in Greece, and had apparently been signed by “The Man”. Our analysts have identified the sender of the message as Irina Derevko.”

Silence followed, then Kendall cleared his throat.

“Fine, but with all due respect, Jack, we are talking about your ex-wife here. Couldn’t it be that this is more of a personal interest to you than…” He wasn’t able to finish, because the dark look on Jack’s face silenced him.

“I assure you, I have no personal interest in killing Derevko. This is not about me. It is about Sydney’s security.”

“Yes, but Jack, we can’t just give the permission to kill somebody without further proof and reasons. This is exactly what the public suspects and is afraid of… that the CIA sends its agents, without reason, out into the field to kill.”

“Let me make something very clear here! Irina Derevko is not some innocent civilian. She is a guilty woman who, despite my recent cooperation with her, should have received the death penalty some years ago. There is no time to supply you with all the proof and reasons you need. Contact analysis, and they will hand you a full report – while I will already be on the mission.”

Again a long silence followed while the men looked at each other and started to discuss quietly. Finally a higher ranking officer stood up from his chair. “Agent Bristow, could you leave us alone for a few minutes?”

Jack did as he was asked. He left the conference room and waited in the corridor outside the large door. Ten minutes later he was called to come back inside. Patiently, he waited until Kendall got up and looked at him seriously.

“Agent Bristow, we have come to the agreement that Irina Derevko has done more harm than good. Despite her recent cooperation, the fact remains that she is still hiding from the CIA and unwilling to assure her full loyalty. Therefore, we grant you permission to solve that problem with whatever means you consider necessary. Whether that involves arresting her or killing her is up to you. The situation is to be handled with absolute discretion. This meeting has never taken place.”

Jack nodded at him. “Thank you.” Without any more words, he turned around and left the room. Preparations had to be made…

— 12 hours later —

Something about this dusk was different – almost melancholic. The sea was lying peaceful before her, the soft waves playing with her feet, yet it was as if thunderclouds were building on the horizon and would soon reach her.

Irina Derevko bent down and collected a shell out of the shallow water, eyeing it and then throwing it back into the sea. A soft breeze played with her chestnut locks and made her sad. She was unable to tell why. It was a deep sadness inside her that she couldn’t define. There was an unclear feeling that the time would soon be up. The prophecy would fulfill itself, and nothing she had done would be able to prevent it.

She turned and strolled slowly back to the little house she had resided in for the last three months. Tears were standing in her eyes, and for the hundredth time she asked Sydney to forgive her.

She opened the wooden door and entered the small house. After she had gotten herself some water from the kitchen, she sat back at her computer, staring at the screen without real interest.

Sighing deeply, she looked out of the window. The sun had almost gone. Again, she played with the thought of calling the man off – to tell him not to kill Sydney. She knew it was impossible. Things had to be done for the sake of the world.

The clicking sound of a weapon draw her attention immediately back to reality – too late. She growled when she felt the metal of the muzzle at her back and lifted her arms.

“Nice to see you, Irina.”

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“Jack!” Irina sighed, almost relieved and turned around, but when Jack didn’t lower the weapon, her expression changed. “What…”

“Answer just one simple question!” Jack interrupted her dangerously calm. “Why now? Why not earlier? Didn’t you have millions of possibilities to kill Sydney? Why now?”

Irina just stared at him, unwilling to believe that he knew.

“Answer me, you traitorous bitch. I can’t believe I ever trusted you. I thought you were telling the truth when you said that you loved Sydney – and me.”

“I did!” Irina assured, approaching him slowly. “I love both of you so much!”

“Then you are telling me it was not you who hired a snaper to kill our daughter?”

Irina shook her head slightly. “No… it was me.”

Immediately she found the gun pointing at her again.

“Jack, listen to me! There are things you do not know! You have to believe me, I wish I could spare Sydney!”

Jack laughed bitterly and sat down on a armchair, his gun still pointed at the woman opposite him. He wished he had just killed her without asking questions. But somehow, a foolish part inside of him had wanted to talk to her one last time, maybe due to hope that it hadn’t been her who had arranged for the hit on his daughter.

“Listen…” Irina approached him and went to her knees next to him. “I know, you have never believed in Rambaldi or his prophecy. I know, you never understood how a human being could get caught up in it so much. I was obsessed with Rambaldi for so many years I even stopped counting. For a long time, I put him over the people I loved…” Her hand touched his cheek softly, and her thumb brushed over his lower lip. “But after I returned – after I found Sydney having grown into that powerful, strong woman, I was foolishly so proud of her – of you for having raised her into that incredible woman and of me. I understood that the chase for an age-old prophecy was not half as fulfilling as the love of my daughter…” She looked deeply into his eyes for a moment. “…and my husband. That’s why I turned myself in. I wanted to make things good. I wanted out of this life – out of the prophecy. I wanted to be back at your side.”

“Why do you want to kill Sydney?” Jack asked coolly. The impatience could clearly be heard in his voice.

Irina looked at him, then decided to tell him the truth. “Do you remember page 47? The portrait of Sydney? She is the Chosen One. And although I was determined not to let myself get involved with Rambaldi anymore, I recently came across a document which revealed another part of the prophecy. The ‘Chosen One’ is not the one who is destined to prevent the prophecy from fulfilling itself. Until now, we always thought it was by her special skills, but that document made clear that she will only prevent the prophecy by being killed.
Today, so it is written in the prophecy, will mark the decision between destruction or life. Everything depends on the life or death of the Chosen One.”

Jack stared at her open-mouthed. “You are sacrificing our daughter because of that stupid prophecy?” He had to gather all of his control to not yell at her.

“I wish there was another way! Everything up to now has come true! The Passenger delivered the message, the prophecy has already been set into motion. And it says that there is only the ‘Chosen-One’ who will be able to stop it! Sydney!”

Jack closed his eyes and shook his head. Slowly he dropped the gun. Irina touched his cheeks and searched his lips with hers in a longing kiss. A sob escaped her throat.

“I love Sydney, Jack. I would do everything to save her life, if it were possible. But it is meant to be… I can’t change it.”

Jack looked into her eyes deeply, shaking his head at her words. “I have never been a fan of prophecies or fate. You know I am more comfortable with myself being the one who controls his life.”

Irina couldn’t help but smile under tears. “I know…” she whispered.

Their lips found each other, gently caressing and exploring until they were both breathless. Jack slid off the armchair until he was on his knees on the ground, covering her face and necks with short, longing kisses. The world started to spin in front of her. How many nights had she longed for him, for his touch – for his lips to be close to hers.

She let herself sink to the ground, pulling him over her. Jack touched her through the material of her clothes, then started to pull at the material of her top, until he was able to reach under it and touch her bare skin.

Catching her breath at the almost electric heat his touch caused, she closed her eyes, giving herself completely to his touch. His lips devoured and licked until they had explored and rediscovered every little inch of her skin. He buried his face in the chestnut locks of her hair, breathing in her female scent and burning it forever into his heart.

“Jack…” Irina’s voice was trembling when she spilled small kisses on his cheek. “I love you.”

He didn’t answer, but claimed her mouth in a possessive exploration, teasing her until she pulled at his clothes to pull them off.

Jack helped her, never breaking the kiss and finally skin felt bare skin. The impact of heat that struck them was earth-shattering and erased all rational thought from their mind.

When he entered her, finding her wet and ready for him, he stilled for a moment, looking into her chocolate brown eyes and stroking her cheek in the most tender gesture. For a long time Irina held his eyes, then she looked away, tears starting to fill her eyes.

“You are going to kill me, aren’t you?” she whispered, and his only answer was a deep kiss – the only answer she needed to be sure. He was saying goodbye to her, not celebrating their reunification. When they finally broke apart, she smiled at him, taking his cheeks between her hands. “Will you do something for me?”

“What?” he asked, unable to understand how he could still sound so controlled.

Irina closed her eyes and reached out for the weapon. She held it in her hand for a long time, then put it away. “ Make love to me. Love me one last time like you did on our wedding night.”

His lips crashed down on hers, devouring them in an almost desperate kiss when he started to thrust into her. Her hands ran over his back and shoulders, her soft moans lost in his mouth. When he changed the angle a little to be able to stroke her g-spot with his movements, she panted against his lips. They rocked together towards their release, unable to think of what had been or what would be. All that mattered was them in this stolen moment of time.

When Jack came, it seemed as if fireworks exploded in front of his eyes. It took him only a few more thrusts to make Irina shatter in his arms. He collapsed on her, not moving for a long time. His head was buried at her neck, kissing and licking her skin. When he touched her chin and cheeks with his mouth, he felt her salty tears on his lips. Carefully he kissed them away, soothing her pain, and his own.

The hours passed by and sometime they moved to Irina’s bedroom. They spent the time kissing and caressing each other, sometimes only lying in each other’s arms. Neither of them spoke a word… neither could.

Finally, Jack got up and dressed. Irina watched him in silent sadness. The moon that was shining through the window gave the room a pale white light. She could tell from its position in the sky, that soon the first rays of sunlight would announce the dawn.

Without speaking, she lifted from the bed and got dressed herself. When she came out of the bedroom into the kitchen, Jack greeted her with a deep kiss on the lips. Irina allowed herself to get lost in him one last time.

Finally, Jack broke the kiss and brought distance between them. Irina saw him taking the gun from the table. She didn’t move when he pointed it at her. There was no power left inside her to flee from him. She was no longer able to stand being away from him, not to mention starting to hide from him again.

“I knew you would do it.” Irina simply stated. Jack shrugged his shoulders.

“You made me choose between my daughter and the wife who betrayed me over and over again. You didn’t really believe I would sacrifice Sydney’s life, did you?”

“I can’t blame you for choosing that way. No matter how many times I told you I loved you, it was never enough, was it? I guess, time was just never on our side.” Her voice was quiet and almost melancholic.

The loud crashing of the fired weapon resounded a million times in her head. She had killed dozens of people that way and heard what it supposedly felt like to die from a shot into the heart, but no description was even close to what she experienced.

A surprised sound escaped her throat when she felt her legs give way. She believed that she fell to the ground, but her nerves seemed to be paralyzed. There was no pain, just a sudden weakness that took possession of her. She wanted to get up but her body didn’t comply. Coldness started to slowly spread through her body. Silent tears filled her eyes.

“Jack…” she wasn’t even sure whether she had actually said it or only wanted to do so. She felt his fingers at her pulse. “Jack, I want you to know that… if I was given the chance to choose between the KGB and you again… I would not leave you.” She gasped when she felt the metallic taste of blood in her mouth and her breath coming shorter. “I have always loved you… Jack.” A silent tear ran don her cheek when her eyes fell closed. “Even if that was… never enough…” Her last words were merely a whisper, before she allowed herself to give in to the deep darkness.

Jack felt her pulse stop, unable to turn his head away from her. “I have always loved you too, Irina…” he murmured and pressed a last kiss to her forehead. “But I would have never been able to trust you.”

Then he got up to get the car…

— —

Jack lifted Irina carefully into his arms and stepped closer to the edge. With the next breath of the wind he dropped her dead body off the cliff and watched her fall endlessly until the hungry waves finally swallowed her, pulling her into their embrace, never to be found again.

“You were right,” Jack Bristow finally murmured into the wind. “It was never enough… it will never ever be.”

With these words he turned around to go back to the car, leaving everything behind – the ocean, his past and his heart.

THE END (1/1)


“It’s the last night on earth before the great divide.
My hands are shaking, time was never on our side.
There is no such thing as a beautiful goodbye.
As an ordinary day I prayed for you a thousand times.

It’s never enough,
no matter how many times I tried to tell you this is love.

If tomorrow never comes, I want you to know right now that I,
I’m gonna love you until the day I die.
And if tomorrow falls asleep, can you hold me first.
I’m gonna love you like it’s the last night on earth.”

(Delta Goodrem)