Memorial vacations written by Ainoyume

Part 1 – Just like paradise

Kathryn Janeway, Captain of the Federation starship Voyager inhaled deeply and 
closed her eyes. She 
tried to describe the atmosphere in her mind, but it was impossible. Salty, 
kinda chilly, but not 
unpleasant chilly... just like the air at the water of an ocean. She enjoyed 
this trip to the surface of an 
inhabitant planet, although she didn’t understand why it was inhabitant. She 
looked at her companions. 
Tom and B’Elanna were making some kind of a ‘sand-battle’ – which of course 
B’Elanna won. Seven 
and the doctor were just standing there, looking at the horizon and talked 
about... she thought crew 
reports. Tuvok looked around as though he had to protect them from invisible 
enemies. She smiled at 
the thought. That was so typical for him. 
“Captain!” B’Elanna struggled and with a face which could only be called 
horrified, she fall to 
Kathryn’s feet. Kathryn had to hide a giggle and got to her knees. 
“You okay?” 
“Yeah... yeah...” B’Elanna cleaned her uniform from the sand. “I’m sorry, 
Captain. What I wanted to 
ask...” She got up. “We did scans of the planet, didn’t we?” 
“Yeah, sure!” 
“So... could we... possibly take our swim-suits and swim in the ocean? I mean... 
probably there are... 
monsters or anything like it inside of the water!” Kathryn looked at the wild 
water. 
“I’m not sure whether this is a good idea... I mean... YOU can swim very good, 
but there are several 
people who could possibly not resist these high waves.” Tom neared. 
“Uh, Come on Captain! We’re adult! We can take care of ourselves!” Kathryn 
looked from one to the 
other. 
“Well... okay! But we’ll create an extra shift on the transporters. If someone 
gets in danger we can 
beam you out. I’m not very crazy about loosing a dozen of crewmembers, 
understood!” 
“Yes Ma’am!” Tom turned and stormed away. B’Elanna followed. 
“Yaaahooo! Harry!” Tom yelled out like a fool. Kathryn looked after them 
smiling. The crew deserved 
some fun after these five months without vacations on a planet. And she thought 
this paradise was just 
right to relax. 
“Kathryn!” The woman turned. 
“Chakotay!” 
“You allowed to swim?”
“Yeah... I think, they deserve fun!” 
“And you?” 
“I will be working on some crew reports and do the first shift at the 
transporters.” She said. “Someone 
has to take care of the ship.” 
“Yeah. Sure... but not you!” 
“What?” Kathryn faced him. “What does that mean? Trying to give me orders?” She 
turned and went 
away. 
“That means, that I am not going to let you work! You need a bit fun as well! 
What do you think about 
replicating a swim-suit and...” 
“No!” Kathryn lifted her hand. “I’m the Captain!” 
“That’s why I propose you do it! You’re always working! You need a break!” 
“I get enough breaks in holodeck!” She tapped her commbadge. “Janeway to 
Voyager!” 
“Rollins here, Captain!” 
“Beam me up, Mr. Rollins!” 
“Yes Ma’am!” Seconds later she felt a tickle on her skin and dematerialized. 

“Any propositions, Neelix?” Janeway looked at the PADD. 
“Well, Captain... I thought that we could probably install some kind of a 
‘steady transport service’.” 
Neelix smiled unsure. Kathryn laid her PADD away. 
“Specify!” 
“Well... I’ve been talking to Mr. Rollins and he said that he can’t do the whole 
transports all alone. 
Which means, if we keep the situation as it is now, we’ll need at least two 
persons for transporter shift. 
And this is only the usual transporter, not emergency.” 
“Understood. And what’s your proposition?” asked the woman interested. Neelix 
always came up with 
good ideas to improve their situation. He gave a PADD to her and she read 
through it. “So you mean a 
transport from a special place every ten minutes and the people that wants to be 
transported have to go 
there?” 
“Exactly!” Neelix commented proudly and Kathryn nodded. 
“Permission granted. It’s a good idea. Um... have you already made the shift 
plans for the 
transporters?” 
“Yes, Captain! Everything organized.” He turned and went hesitantly to the door. 
“Um... Another 
thing, Captain...” He turned half to face her. “Don’t you want to go down there? 
Nearly half the crew 
already enjoys the warm water of the ocean. They even organized some kind of 
“Rescue Team” which 
contains B’Elanna Torres, Tuvok, Ensign Mitchell and Crewman Langton.” 
“How many degrees?” 
“The water?” Neelix asked and smiled when she nodded. “32° Celsius, Captain.” 
“Thank you. I’ll think about it!” 
“Well... hope to see you then!” With these words he left the room to join the 
others.

When she materialized, Kathryn felt the familiar salty breeze again. She looked 
around. During the last 
two hours the whole beach had changed. The “Rescue team” had build up a tent, 
where everybody 
could get hot tea or coffee, the transport zone was full of people (actually a 
long queue stood in front 
of the place) and nearly everybody wore a swim-suit, including Seven of Nine and 
the Doctor. Kathryn 
raised an eyebrow. It seemed as if everybody enjoyed the little rest on the 
planet. Why not enjoy 
herself a bit, too? She went to the tent. 
“Hallo, anyone here?” B’Elanna came out. 
“Captain! Tee or coffee?” 
“Um... coffee please!” 
B’Elanna filled one of the cups from the mess hall with coffee and gave it to 
her. “Here.” 
“Thank you! I’ve to admit... that you changed this place very positive!” Kathryn 
swallowed a mouthful 
of her coffee and looked around. B’Elanna grinned. 
“You should change your clothes! Nobody here does still wear a uniform.” 
The woman looked at the half-klingon. “Actually I didn’t came for swimming!” 
“Many people don’t swim. They wear it just for fun!” B’Elanna explained and 
replicated new tea. 
“Besides it is very good! At first you swim until you feel cold, then you get a 
cup of tea here and then 
you can play beach-volleyball or tennis up there.” 
“You organized a lot of games, didn’t you?” 
“Actually Tom did! He likes these kind of games. I prefer to take care of the 
beach.” She smiled and 
Kathryn touched her hand. 
“B’Elanna... I want you to know, that you fulfilled all expectations I had in 
you when I gave you the 
job as chief in engineering. What do I say... you didn’t just fulfill them. You 
acted beyond my 
expectations!” 
“Thank you, Captain.” B’Elanna’s eyes shimmered with joy and pride. “I hope I 
did. I know, I made 
some mistakes, but...” 
“We’re all everything but perfect. I made some mistakes too. Although... I don’t 
admit some.” Kathryn 
smiled. “But I’m very content with everyone of this crew.” 
“Captain... why don’t you swim a bit? And while you’re swimming I’ll make you an 
extra cup of 
coffee.” 
“Mmm... sounds wonderful!” Kathryn gave the empty cup she held in her hands to 
B’Elanna. “I’ll just 
change, okay?” If she had known, that she would have to stand about an half hour 
in the queue of 
people waiting for the next transport, she wouldn’t have said “I’ll JUST 
change”. And immediately 
after she was back aboard voyager, she ordered the transports to be every five 
minutes. Then she went 
to her quarters and took some things she thought she would be in need of. Sun 
protector... a comb... 
some towels... and a swimsuit. Within 2 minutes she changed her clothes and 
within further 2 minutes 
she was in the transporter room again. She wore a beautiful black swimsuit with 
a long wrapper skirt 
around her waist. When she entered the transporter room, the two lieutenants, 
who didn’t recognize her 
at first were shocked. 
“Uh... Captain!” 
“At ease!” she ordered and laughed, when she saw the other crewmembers unsure 
what to do. At this 
moment she felt, that she was further away from her crew that she had thought. 
Within the six years 
they had already flown through space the atmosphere between Captain and crew 
should be more 
easily. So she was kind of happy when they arrived on the planet. She loved the 
feeling of the sand on 
her naked feet immediately. 
“Hi again!” She greeted B’Elanna and the woman laughed. 
“Hard to go back to the ship within seconds, right?” 
“Absolutely... but I shorted the time between the transports. Would you take 
care of my bag?”
“Yeah, sure... just put it there!” 
“Okay, thank you! um... do you come with me?” 
“No... my shift here ends in one hour. Then it’s Tuvok’s turn. But I’ve to stay 
here for that time.”
Kathryn went along the water and collected some seashells. They were formed very 
weird, but 
interesting the same time. In the distance she saw Naomi Wildman playing with 
her mother and Seven 
in calm water. Seven tried desperately to teach Naomi swimming against the waves 
and Samantha 
seemed to enjoy this scene. 
“Hey!” Water drops hit the naked skin of her arms. She sprung away from the 
water and saw Chakotay 
grin at her. 
“I’ve hardly recognized you! Who was able to change your mind? I should take a 
lesson from this 
person!” 
“Me.” Kathryn smiled. “And don’t even think of it?” 
“Of what?” 
“Oh, you know very well what I mean!” 
“Uh come on! We do a water fight there. Do you want to join us?” 
“No. I’ve to get used to the water temperature at first.” 
“Ah... really... well then...” He turned and Kathryn continued her way along the 
beach. The soft breeze 
played with her hair and she closed her eyes. The had always been loving the 
water since she was a 
child. She took another shell from the ground and examined it against the sun, 
when she suddenly felt 
a cold wet grip from behind. Chakotay lifted her up and she yelled out in 
protest and a bit of a shock, 
which draw the attention of several other people to her. Tom laughed out. 
“Chakotay! That’s a mutiny!” 
“Really?” Chakotay was unimpressed. 
“I warn you. If you do that you’ll clean plasma distributors for the rest of 
your l...” SPLASH. She fell 
into the water and the coolness shocked her at first. When she finally found the 
ground and surfaced 
again, she heard the people laugh and clap. Tom grinned. 
“I guess... this is gonna be fun! HEY! COME HERE EVERYONE!” Janeway faced her 
first officer, 
still busy with bringing her hair back to order. 
“You... will have to... replicate me a new skirt!” she complained and Chakotay 
laughed. He splashed 
water into her face. 
“Come on! You got used to the water, now join us!” 
“You better be good at swimming!” Kathryn warned and he grinned, then started to 
crawl. Kathryn 
followed. She had always been a good swimmer, but she failed against Chakotay. 
He was faster than 
she was. 
“So... we have two groups. One in every group is the queen. And if the queen is 
pulled under water by 
an enemy, the enemies have won.” 
“Sounds simple.” Kathryn nodded and Chakotay grinned. 
“Good. Because you’ll be our queen in the next game. Stay away from the enemies. 
Here... we form a 
barrier.” 
“Am I allowed to help you?” 
“No, of course not! We have to protect you!” he answered. “So stay behind us!” 
“Okay.” 
“So... everybody ready? GO!” Now began a wild splashing. Kathryn looked at the 
mess of people and 
water. 
“I... forgot to ask who the enemies are!” she suddenly mentioned. Suddenly she 
felt a grip at her ankle 
and cried out. 
“HELP!” she freed herself without diving under the water and swam a few meters 
away. 
“Who was that? It isn’t allowed to dive and pull the queen down!” Tom cursed 
angrily. Nobody said a 
word. “Come on! Anyone has tried to cheat!” silence. “Okay... then we’ll go on! 
But the next time 
we’ll stop immediately! GO!” 
Kathryn looked around in the water. She wasn’t sure, but she could swear that 
the person had had 
green skin. Maybe it was just the shimmering of the water, but that strong? She 
shook her head. They 
had scanned the whole planet for life signs. There hadn’t been any. She began to 
get paranoid. ...No... 
Again! Anything green. She took a deep breath and dived under the surface. The 
water here was about 
two meters deep and she dived until she was able to touch the ground. She looked 
around. Nothing. 
But she was sure... There! A move! She did some strokes in the direction the 
move had come from, but 
there was nothing. Suddenly she felt a strong pull to the wrong direction. The 
water here was about 3 
meters deep. She had been swimming into the wrong direction, away from the shore 
and now she felt 
some kind of underwater stream which pulled her out to the see. She felt panic 
raise in her but she did, 
what she had always done in dangerous situations. Think, what to do. She had to 
get out of this stream. 
And so she swam against it and tried to reach the surface at the same time. And 
she got it. Completely 
out of breath she finally surfaced. She inhaled deeply and swam back to the 
others then. 
“Captain... are you okay?” Tom asked worried and Chakotay turned and retired a 
bit from the water 
battle. 
“You’re pale. You feel cold?” 
“No... I’m... I’m... fine...” She was still shivering and breathed heavily. 
“Tom... I think, you better swim to the shore and inform the doctor.” 
“Yes!” Tom crawled towards the beach. Kathryn shook her head. 
“I’m fine... I’ve... just been a bit too long... under water.” 
“Gods, you’re shaking!” 
“Chakotay... there’s a under water stream somewhere and... I’m not sure, but... 
I think some kind of 
life forms observe us!” she stammered and he looked at her as if she was crazy. 
“We... scanned the planet. Not one, not two but three times for life signs!” 
“Yeah... but... I saw... I saw them and...” 
“And besides there is no current here! We checked that several times. There! We 
marked the place 
where we can swim in without danger!” 
“But... I’m not crazy I... I’m sure I...” She gestured so furious that she 
forgot to swim and sank. 
Chakotay laughed and gabbed her. 
“Maybe you were a bit too long under water!” he said and held her safe. Kathryn 
held her breath. This 
was close... too close. 
“I’m fine! Thank you!” She pushed him gently away and made her way back to 
beach. She had always 
been trying to avoid a too close touch with her first officer because she knew 
that she could loose 
herself in it. Although she had Michael Sullivan now, she still felt very 
attracted of the Indian. That 
was what frightened her. When she reached the sand, she let herself fall and 
tried to calm herself. The 
doctor got to his knees next to her and checked her with his medical tricorder. 
“I get no special malfunctions, Captain, but you should lie down for a little 
moment. You had a oxygen 
starvation for a moment and your heart beat is a bit too high. But with a moment 
of silence...” 
“Thank you doctor!” Kathryn smiled and shivered. The Doctor raised an eyebrow. 
“And a hot tea from B’Elanna!” He added and turned then. Kathryn got up and 
looked out at the 
ocean. She knew that there had been a stream. Anything was out there and she 
didn’t know whether 
she wanted to know what!

“Look here!” Kathryn collected a colored stone and showed it to the man next to 
her. “Isn’t it 
beautiful?” Chakotay took it. 
“Yeah... looks very special. Mysterious!” Kathryn took it and looked at it. Then 
she smiled, kissed the 
stone and threw it wide into the ocean. Chakotay looked stunned at her and she 
smiled. 
“When I was a child I believed, that, when you find a very special stone at the 
beach you have to kiss it 
and think a wish and then throw it as much as you can, and maybe King Triton 
finds it and fulfills the 
wish.” She continued going. 
“Really?” he was interested. “And I thought you were too rational to believe in 
fairy tales.” 
“I was! And that’s why I did it when nobody saw it!” Both of them laughed. 
“Kathryn... I thought about what you said yesterday and... I checked the region 
for life signs and 
underwater streams! There were none!” 
Kathryn faced him. “I know what I saw and felt! Do you think I tried to drown 
myself??? There was a 
stream which pulled me under water!” Chakotay threw a stone toward the horizon 
and looked when it 
hit the water surface. 
“Kathryn... don’t think I wouldn’t believe you, but... maybe... you just had the 
feeling you’d be held 
under water because of your oxygen starvation!” 
“No! I... couldn’t surface! I tried when I still had enough oxygen, but it 
wasn’t possible! And then 
these strange green life forms!” She shook her head. “It’s impossible that I had 
some kind of daydream 
or whatever you think I had!” 
“Well, maybe you’re right and there was a green person!” Kathryn heard the humor 
of his voice and 
looked skeptically at him. 
“What?” 
“Yeah... maybe you were right, when you was a child and king Triton does exist!” 
Kathryn inhaled deeply, then she took a handful water and threw it against him. 
“See what you get when you try to play jokes on me?” she asked and laughed. He 
growled. 
“You better run!” She turned and ran into the water like a little child. 
“Think, I wouldn’t get you only because you’re in the water?” He followed her 
and crawled a bit. 
Kathryn yelled out. 
“That’s not fair!” 
“It is!” 
“No it isn’t!” She dived under the water for getting out of his sight, but soon 
afterwards she felt his 
hand at her ankle. She swam around some under water cliffs and surfaced then. 
“Wow!” she breathed when she realized that they were in a beautiful bay. She 
heard Chakotay surface 
behind her and turned. “Don’t...” She splashed. “...even...” SPLASH. “...think 
of it!” she warned and 
he tried to protect his face with his hands. 
“What?” he asked and she splashed once again. 
“you know what I mean!” Then she swam towards the shore to investigate the holes 
she saw there. 
“See that? I wonder what’s inside of these caves!” 
“How do you know these are caves and not only... holes... coves... whatever?” 
“Maybe just a wish!” she replied and felt the ground under her feet. “I can 
walk.” The sand seemed 
more hot than beyond the bay, but maybe, she thought, it was only her 
imagination. When she stepped 
out of the water, she turned. “You coming with me?” 
“I can barely let you do this crazy thing alone! Maybe you fall and break your 
leg...” he answered and 
she recognized that he imitated her. She grinned. 
“Commander... do you want me to order you back to the ship?” When she saw his 
face she laughed 
and he nodded. 
“Sure... do you know how the court will call this?” 
“No!” She realized too late that he had bent down and now he began to throw 
water towards her. She 
fled and he followed. 
“Stop that...” she requested and he grinned. 
“You forget that we aren’t in command structure any longer!” 
“That’s not fair!” she protested and stumbled. “Whoa...” then she lay on the 
ground. Chakotay, who 
had nearly stumbled over her, let himself fall next to her. “Wow...” she 
murmured and he relied on his 
elbows. 
“Wow?” he asked amused and she grinned. 
“I haven’t done a game like that since I was eight!” 
He looked at her and stroked softly one of her hair strands out of her face. She 
looked confused at him. 
Too close... much too close... she thought over and over again. 
“Kathryn... do you... I mean... do you sometimes think about...” He stopped. 
“Yes?” she asked and he smiled helplessly. 
“Do you sometimes think of our time on ‘New Earth’? I mean... what had happened 
when... they 
hadn’t found a cure and we... had had to stay there...” She held his glance 
seriously. 
“Sometimes...” she admitted. “But not that often. I mean... life went on...” 
“Do you think that... it would have been better for you to stay there? I mean... 
personally. Only think 
of you now.” She sighed and turned her face. The sun seemed to disappear beyond 
the horizon and 
dipped their surroundings in a mysterious red-violet color. 
“Yes...” she finally answered. “Yes, for me it would have been better. But... I 
don’t regret that they 
found a cure.” 
“Kathryn?” 
“Mmm?” she faced him. 
“May I do something, that I’ve been wanting to do for... at least four years?” 
“And what’s that?” 
He lowered to her mouth. She couldn’t resist the feeling to close her eyes and 
give in. Much too 
close... I’ve to stop... And then the following kiss erased all her thoughts, 
even her feeling of time. She 
seemed to float... and her fall when he finally withdrew from her lips was worse 
than she’d ever 
thought it could be. She moaned slightly. 
“I’m sorry!” he whispered. “I don’t know what led me to do that. Maybe the 
atmosphere of this strange 
planet or the...” She closed her arms around his neck. 
“I don’t know what leads me, either!” she murmured, before she touched his lips 
with hers and started 
a new kiss, deeper and more yearning than before. She forgot about everything. 
Their journey, home, 
that she was his superior and even Michael Sullivan which she had thought to 
love. She had always 
known, that her feelings for Chakotay were much stronger than for any other man. 
So she just lived the 
moment, one little moment which seemed to be an eternity. Her eternity.

End of Part I – Please read part II which will come soon!

01/01/01 – 01.40 am

Memorial vacations written by Ainoyume

Part 2 – Danger

The sun began to sink down to the horizon and the water took a color of a 
mixture of red and violet. 
The ocean seemed peaceful, almost too peaceful. There was no sound in the air. 
No animal showed 
outside in the water. Kathryn froze when a cool breeze blew over her skin. 
“It’s cold!” she murmured and smiled when she felt Chakotay dulling her towards 
him. 
“Better?” 
“A bit.” She propped on her elbows and looked at him. “The others will look for 
us if we don’t go 
back soon.” 
“Yes.” 
“That’s all?” she wondered and he grinned. 
“What do you expect me to say? They’ll found their Captain and Commander in a 
close embrace!” 
“Be ashamed! I try to talk seriously!” She smiled and looked at the water. “I 
don’t know... but I have a 
strange feeling. We shouldn’t be here.” 
He sat up. “Kathryn!” 
“I mean it.” 
“We are both adult. We don’t need to confess anything to our parents. Don’t you 
think we can deal 
with it?” 
“That’s not what I mean!” she said and looked directly into his eyes. “I mean... 
the whole atmosphere. 
It’s... dark and dangerous.” 
“Mmm...” He raised his eyebrows. 
“What mmm?” Kathryn asked and he grinned. 
“I’m sorry but... I thought feelings weren’t the right sight to judge over a 
situation. They’re not real.” 
He shrugged his shoulders. “At least that was what I’ve been told by you all the 
time.” 
“I’ve never told you!” 
“Sure you have!” 
“No! But you’re right... I behave like a little child afraid of the invisible 
stranger under her bed.” She 
got up and went a bit into the water. “But I can’t help... I wish, Kes was here. 
She would possible feel, 
what I feel!” 
“Hey...” 
She turned when she heard Chakotay’s voice. He smiled. 
“I’ll protect you from... whatever threatens us here, okay? So don’t be afraid.” 
She looked back to the 
horizon where the sun had nearly disappeared. 
“It’s beautiful here.” She whispered and felt his hands on her shoulders. 
“You’re too.” He breathed into her ear. 
She leaned against him and sighed. This was like a dream and she hoped it would 
never end... but it 
would. 
“Hey...” she suddenly remembered. “We wanted to take a look into these caves, 
didn’t we?” 
“Okay... who’s first!” He started to ran and she laughed. 
“That’s not fair!” then she ran after him. Of course he won, but she didn’t 
care. She was much too 
curious for these caves. 
“Wait...” he held her back. “I’m not to give you orders, but... we should inform 
Voyager that we go 
under the surface.” 
She nodded. “You’re right.” She tapped her commbadge. “Janeway to Voyager!” 
“Torres here, Captain!” 
“We’re about to investigate a cave. Save our coordinates now, just for the 
possibility that you don’t 
hear from us in... let’s say... one hour!” 
“Okay, Captain, but... there are no subterranean caves on this planet. We 
scanned it!” Kathryn looked 
at Chakotay. 
“But... we’re standing just in front of one!” Silence. 
“Lieutenant!” 
“Yes... okay, Captain. We’ll reconfigure our scanners.” 
“Understood, Janeway out. Let’s go!” She entered the cave. “Strange. Look at 
those shimmering walls. 
Which kind of energy might them make gloom?” 
“I’ve never seen anything like that before!” Chakotay admitted. 
Kathryn touched his arm. “Look... there are stairs down!” She looked downstairs 
into the darkness. 
“I’m not sure we should go there, Captain! These stairs are made by someone and 
we... shouldn't go 
down there without phasers and most of all... light!!!” 
“Agreed!” she nodded. “Let’s swim back to the beach and get our stuff!” She left 
the cave. “And 
tomorrow we can come here with several others and look if we can make first 
contact to the species 
living here.” 
“I wonder why we didn’t get any lifesigns when we scanned the planet.” 
“Maybe they have some kind of force field for sensors.” She sighed. “Look... 
it’s already very dark. I 
hope we’ll find the way back!” Hearing this Chakotay laughed. 
“Come on... we only have to swim around those cliffs.” 
“Yeah... ONLY is good. Do you have an idea of how cold the water is?” she 
complained and he 
sighed. 
“Women... I’ve always known they’re all the same!” SPLASH. A wave of cold water 
hit him. 
“And if you try to insult me, you’ll be happy to be back on Voyager!” she 
threatened and he lifted his 
hands. 
“Okay! Sorry, Mylady!” They stepped deeper and deeper into the water. “We’ll 
orientate ourselves by 
the stones!” He proposed and Kathryn nodded. 
“Give me your hand!” 
“Afraid?” 
“That’s an order!” she smiled and he sighed theatrically. 
“Aye Ma’am!” They swam to the place where the cliffs rounded. 
“The current is stronger than a while ago!” she noticed. “That’s strange!” 
“Hold yourself to the stones.” 
“I could swear... it wasn’t that bad some time ago!” she moaned and had 
difficulties not to be carried 
out to the sea. 
“We should have called Voyager to beam us up!” he mentioned and held her. 
“Thank you!” she said with a tone of worry in her voice. “I’m sure... here’s 
anything wrong!” She saw 
the blink of a green shadow under her. Panic raised in her but she forced 
herself to calmness. 
“We’ve to get out of the water!” 
“Well... good... and where do you want us to go here?” He asked and held her 
when she nearly loosed 
the grip around the stone. 
“Help me!” She tried to climb to the stone, but it was too smooth and she fell 
back to the water. He 
could hold her just before she was pulled away from him by the current. 
“Damned! Kathryn!” he yelled out and looked at her kind of angry. “What’s up 
with you! Do you want 
us both carried out to the ocean? Because that is going to happen if you keep 
trying these stupid 
things!” He forced her to look into his eyes. 
“Chakotay... something is here. Believe me!” The tone in her voice worried him. 
If he hadn’t known 
better he would have said that she was in panic. 
“Nothing is here! Come on! Let’s make out way! Just hold yourself to the rocks!” 
She closed her eyes. “Okay.” She felt completely ridiculous. He was right. She 
was a bit paranoid from 
nearly drowning yesterday. No reason to bring him and herself in danger. But 
then she saw it again. A 
green shimmer just under her feet and intuitively she pulled her knees to her 
chest. 
“I can’t go on!” she whispered. “Know what? You... go alone and say they shall 
beam me out!” 
“And what do you think should I say? Sorry, the Captain was afraid to swim back. 
Good idea!” He 
tried to make her at least smile but he failed. “Uh, c’mon. Kathryn!” 
She nodded. “You’re right. There’s nothing down there!” Then she felt a grip 
around her ankle. She 
yelled out, tried to free herself and let go of the rock. Chakotay grabbed her 
arm. 
“Something’s at my foot... it tries to... pull me under the water.” 
Chakotay grabbed around her waist and pulled her back to the cliff. “Damned! I 
should have known, 
that you’ve a shock!” 
“That’s not a shock I...” She nodded. “Okay... hold me...” She tried to loose 
the thing around her ankle 
and breathed in deeply when she felt it was kind of slimy and... most of all... 
held her really tight. It 
was a life-form and wherever she tried to swim it prevented her from doing it. 
“I can’t... free myself! It 
seems to be... kind of a life-form!” she groaned and held her breath when she 
pulled that much that she 
hurt herself in trying to free herself. 
Chakotay nodded. “Let me try.” He found her hand and felt the slimy hand as 
well. 
“Ouch...” Kathryn closed her eyes in pain when Chakotay freed her. 
“come on! You were right! We should get out of here as fast as possible.” He 
took her hand and started 
to swim a bit, holding himself on the stones of the cliffs. Suddenly a green 
life form surfaced in front 
of him. Chakotay shrank back from it. The green man grinned evilly and said 
something in a strange 
language. Then more green life-forms appeared around them. 
“Damned!” Chakotay murmured and Kathryn took all her courage. 
“I don’t know what you want from us, but we come in peace. I’m Captain 
Kathryn...” Then she was 
pulled under the water surface. Chakotay wasn’t able to react that fast. 
“Damned! Give her back!” he ordered and looked at the man who seemed to be the 
leader. “We’re 
human! We’re not able to breathe under the water! She’ll die!” Pure panic filled 
his voice when he felt 
himself pulled under the water surface as well. He tried to force against it, 
but the life-forms were too 
strong. His communicator! He took it and tried to send a SOS, but the strong 
current made him loosing 
it and it disappeared somewhere in the depths of the dark water. He felt 
unconsciousness taking 
possess of him because of his lack of oxygen. He fought desperately one last 
time, then his 
surroundings became black.

The pain surrounded her like an endless sea. She moaned softly, trying to escape 
from it, but no matter 
what she tried, the pain remained. She couldn’t breath. Her lungs burned. And 
the she opened her eyes 
and sat up. She coughed all the water out of her lungs and breathed then. 
Involuntary tears flew down 
her cheeks when she did her first breaths, then her lungs began to get used 
again to the air. She started 
to look around. Darkness. It was damned cold here and she wore only her swim-
suit. But where were 
Chakotay? She tried to stand but she fell down again. She had to regain her 
balance. 
“Chakotay?” She crawled carefully and felt a warm body. “Chakotay!” She was just 
relieved, when a 
strange voice answered her in an unknown language. 
“K-mach’t  thos?” 
Kathryn was shocked. “God... where the hell am I? Chakotay! CHAKOTAY?” Silence, 
then she heard 
a voice. 
“Kathryn?” She turned. 
“Where are you?” 
“I... don’t know!” 
“Just keep talking for I can find you! uh... I’m sorry!” She touched another 
humanoid face and sighed 
desperately. “Chakotay?” 
“Here! Where are you?” 
“I’m on my way to you... but here’re lying so many people. Excuse me!” She hit 
another life-form’s 
face with her hand.
“Kathryn! You sound very near to me! I’m here!” 
She turned left and touched a hand. “Are you that?” 
“Yes!” 
“Where are we?” 
“I just wanted to ask you the same!” He murmured and coughed. “I thought we 
would drown.” 
“Me too!” Kathryn murmured. “I wonder what these weird people want from us!” 
“I’m not sure if I want to know!” admitted Chakotay and told what had happened 
after Kathryn had 
gone. The woman was worried. 
“I just hope, B’Elanna is going to miss us soon!” 
“She will, I’m sure!” 
“All these guys here seem to sleep! Maybe we should do the same!” Kathryn 
suggested and yawned 
slightly. “I feel so tired.” 
“Come here!” Chakotay took her into his arms. “I’ll warm you up.” 
“Thank you!” She cuddled against him and closed her eyes. His hand stroked her 
hair. 
“And remember that I’m going to protect you, okay?” 
“Hmm...” she whispered sleepy. 
“I love you! I’ve always done. From the first moment I saw your face on the 
viewscreen, your hair... a 
complete mess, but your eyes... they told so much! And at that moment I thought 
‘If you want to spend 
your life with a woman it’s this one. And although I had to wait for almost six 
years... I’m glad, I 
finally gained your love.” he finally said and she opened her eyes. 
“Maybe it’s just imagination, but... that sounds like a ‘farewell’ to me!” 
“Well... just in case this is our last moment together!” She could hear his 
smile, but she knew, he 
worried inside. 
“Hey! You don’t have the task to be a pessimist. That’s mine!” she joked and 
touched his cheek. “I 
love you too. G’night.” 
“Sleep well!” 
“Yes... you too!” With these words she closed her eyes again.

End of Part II – Look out for Part III – Dark secrets

01/07/01





Memorial vacations written by Ainoyume

Part 3 – Dark Secrets

“GET UP EVERYONE! COME ON! MOVE YOUR BACKS!" 
Kathryn sat nearly upright and looked around in confusion. She was still half 
asleep, but more and 
more memories about what happened came back. They were, as far as she was able 
to see now in some 
kind of a cave. The walls consisted only of stone and were damp. From somewhere 
wind blew and 
made the cave cold. It wasn't very large and she could see fifteen to twenty 
people, all from different 
species. Species, she had never seen before. 
"Chakotay!" She touched the man's shoulder. "We better get up!" He was asleep. 
That deeply? 
"Chakotay!" 
"Uh..." 
"What's up with you? Are you okay?" Kathryn felt his pulse. It was too slow. 
"I feel... cold..." He murmured and she sighed. 
"No wonder... Come on... I'll help you. Everything's gonna be okay if you move! 
We have to warm 
you up!" She helped him to sit up and he closed his eyes. 
"Okay?" she asked worried. 
"Yeah... only a bit... dizziness." Kathryn looked at the people around her who 
were all getting up and 
then stumbled toward a small exit of the cave. 
"HEY! YOU TWO! GET UP OR DO I HAVE TO HELP YOU???" Kathryn turned. Some kind of 
guard stood behind her and looked at her furiously. 
"My friend needs silence. He doesn't feel well!" 
“And he won't feel better, when I make him get up so you better move!" the 
green-skinned man said 
calmly... too calmly. Kathryn could hear the threat out of his voice. She gave 
him a cold glance, then 
she helped Chakotay to get up. 
“We better do what he demands us to.” 
“Good girl!” Then he went to the other prisoners. 
“What’s going on here?” Chakotay asked and leaned against Kathryn. 
“If I just knew!” Kathryn murmured and shook her head. “On the other hand... I’m 
not sure whether I 
wanna know or not!” They went towards the exit as well and entered a large hall. 
A huge lake was in 
the middle and the other prisoners went around this lake. “I suggest we follow 
them!” She said with a 
worried glance on her first officer. 
“I don’t understand why we are able to understand them.” He murmured while 
holding his head. 
“I do!” she murmured and examined some kind of communicator that replaced the 
communicator 
which she had worn until yesterday. “Without our communicators, we’re not able 
to get help!” she 
worried and he moaned with pain. 
“I... lost my communicator while fighting in the water yesterday. Maybe the crew 
will find it and 
search the water.” 
“One last hope! We have to look for a way of escaping.” She stated and looked 
back. Two dangerous 
looking guards followed them. One of them grabbed her, the other held Chakotay 
while he gave him 
some kind of a hypospray. Before they could even say a word, they were free 
again. 
“MOVE!” the guards ordered and Kathryn looked at Chakotay while starting to go 
again. 
“You okay?” 
He blinked several times. “Fascinating... my headache is gone and I feel a lot 
warmer.” He said in 
confusion and Kathryn didn’t know whether to thank the guards or not. Then they 
finally reached the 
place where they were ordered to be. All other species members sat there on the 
ground before... was 
this the leader of the alien species? Kathryn glanced around quickly. She saw no 
exit, nothing that 
even seemed to hide an exit. She let herself push down to the ground by one 
guard. An awful silence 
filled the hall, then the ‘leader’ began to speak. 
“Nice to see you this morning! As you’ve possibly noticed... we’ve two new 
members in our team... 
and one will leave again today!” Kathryn felt a panic raise between the people. 
The guards went 
around and finally pulled one woman up. She was of a species neither Kathryn nor 
Chakotay had ever 
seen. She started sobbing. 
“No... no! No... please... I’ve... starships which I can give you but please... 
leave me!” she was brought 
to the leader and he touched her cheek. 
“My dear... you know, that we aren’t in need of starships! All that my people 
want is a good show.” 
Kathryn realized, that the hall had filled with thousands... ten-thousands of 
spectators. 
“My goodness... what are they going to do?” she murmured to herself and observed 
how some guards 
brought the woman to a medical couch where she was tied to by them. 
“Good morning, sirs and madams! I feel honored to greet you to our tests today. 
As I know, there isn’t 
enough space for all of you in here. That ones who didn’t get a place today... 
please come back 
tomorrow!” 
Kathryn drew in a deep breath. “They’re going to kill her!” she whispered. 
Chakotay nodded. “That’s what I fear, too.” 
Kathryn faced him. She saw deep disgust in his eyes. She knew, that he detested 
every kind of 
violence against weak or women. But so did she! And she knew, if they really 
kilt that girl under the 
eyes of ten-thousand people she would not be able to just sit here and watch the 
scene. The spectators 
cheered when several men entered the hall, Kathryn suspected that they were kind 
of researchers. She 
saw the fear in the woman’s eyes. 
“They can’t just look how...” she murmured and Chakotay took her hand. 
“They will. Unfortunately this is similar to the things people on earth have 
done centuries ago. Believe 
me, they’re able to watch someone suffer.” 
One of the researchers began to speak. “She is from species 294, which is not 
named yet. HEY. What’s 
the name of your species?” The woman didn’t answer, she just sobbed. “She’s 
uncooperative. So we 
name the species... ‘grayskins’ her skeleton seems similar to ours, her bones 
seem to be strong, but 
we’ll test that out. Her head is covered with hairs, like that of many ‘land’ 
species. She has... two legs 
with feet and six toes on every foot. Would you give me the knife, please?” A 
knife was given to him 
and he cut into the gray skin of the woman. She cried out in pain, but the man 
didn’t care. “Her blood 
is green, which is unusual for land people.” He took he arm of the woman and 
bend it until she cried 
out. “Her arms aren’t very flexible. Neither are her legs. Let’s see how she 
reacts on our injection.” 
One man prepared an injection and administered it to her. She began to cry in 
infinite pain and tried to 
move which was impossible because she was tied. Kathryn jumped up now. 
“STOP THAT!” She demanded loudly and it became completely silent. Only the sobs 
of the girl could 
be heard. Kathryn went to the researchers. “She’s a living creature! What the 
hell are you thinking?” 
she exclaimed in anger and fury. “You torture her only to have a ‘good show’? 
That’s disgusting!” The 
leader, who had kept silent until now, got up. 
“I don’t think, that you have the right to judge our culture!” 
“But you have the right to capture life-forms from other species and torture 
them here only for your 
pleasure? I’m not going to allow that!” Kathryn had to fight not to loose 
control. The leader went 
towards her now. 
“Who gave you the right to get up and talk to me in that way? You’re not allowed 
to contradict!!! 
You’re a ‘land’ species! They’re stupid and hated by the gods! You have no 
rights! You can be happy 
when I don’t kill you right here!” 
Kathryn exploded. “Really? Well... actually you’re going to kill me anyway... I 
don’t care if you do it 
now or tomorrow! But I warn you... my people are searching for us... and if they 
find us... you will 
condemn the day you were born!” 
“Enough! Take her! She has just volunteered for our tests today. Free the 
‘grayskin’!” he ordered  and 
Kathryn turned. Why had she spoken before thinking again? Now she was in 
trouble. Three guards 
came towards her. She looked at the leader again. 
“You will not make me beg for my life if that is what you expect me to do!” she 
hissed and then she 
ran again one of the guards, took his gun and held him. “Now you’ll listen to 
me, understood?” 
“As I said... stupid!” the leader laughed evilly. “Do you really think I’d care 
for the life of my guards? 
Kill him if you like.” 
Kathryn was disgusted. “You don’t believe that I would kill him, do you?” 
“I just don’t care! Take her!” Kathryn aimed with the gun at the leader and 
shot. She hit his shoulder 
and he cried out. “Next time I’m gonna hit your heart if you don’t give all of 
them free!” She showed 
at the other prisoners. The leader lowered to her. 
“You’re more rebellious than I thought you’d be. I like that... but if you don’t 
stop now, I swear YOU 
are the one who will condemn her day of birth!” 
“Kathryn!” Chakotay suddenly stood next to her. She had wondered the whole time 
where he was, 
because he hadn’t said a word. Kathryn looked into his dark eyes. He took the 
gun softly and gave it to 
the leader. 
“What?” Kathryn lost control over herself. “What are you doing?” 
“It’s better like that. Look around. All these guards could kill you within a 
nanosecond! He’s just 
playing his game with you! You will never be able to hurt him seriously!” He 
held her softly. “And I 
want you to be alive!” 
Kathryn freed herself. “What’s up with you? There were times when you would have 
given your life 
for justice!” she exclaimed. “I’m not going to accept that!” 
“Kathryn! Please! You’re under a shock!” 
“I’m okay, I only wonder if you are too!” She turned back to the leader. 
“Thank you!” he said. “You’ve given us an extraordinary show this morning! But 
now we’ll have to 
go on! Tie this girl again!” 
Kathryn wanted to ran to the gray-skinned girl, but Chakotay held her. 
“No!” he said. “You get nothing from that! We have to hope for the rescue of our 
friends!” 
“I don’t believe, you’ll just look!” She fought against his grip, but he was too 
strong. “Damned! 
Chakotay! This is going to have consequences!!!” 
He kissed her softly. “It’s only for your best!” he whispered. And Kathryn had 
to watch helplessly as 
the woman was kilt in a torture which lasted at least an hour. 

*******************************

“Sir! We found commander Chakotay’s communicator near the cliffs on the ground 
of the water!” 
Harry Kim reported to Tuvok. 
“Good! Send an away team down into the water. We have to suspect, that they 
drowned, so... don’t 
take people into the team that counted to the friends of the commander or 
Captain Janeway!” 
“Aye Sir!” with these words, Harry left the report room.

“B’Elanna!” Tom followed his lover, who ran along the beach. “Wait!” 
“Leave me alone!” Tears flew down the women’s cheeks and she hated to show 
weakness. 
“Damned! B’Elanna!” Tom jumped and pulled her with him into the sand. Then he 
pinned her down. 
“Tuvok ordered, that nobody is allowed to go to the surface!” 
“I have to find them!” B’Elanna fought with the power of a Klingon, but Tom had 
gotten used to it by 
the time and had his ways to hold her. 
“B’Elanna! The away team does all possible to find them!” 
“The water is the wrong place! Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay reported 
that they’re going 
to investigate a cave yesterday evening! We have to search this cave! I have to 
find it!” 
“And what do you expect to find there?” Tom asked and B’Elanna pushed him away 
with all power 
she had. 
“I don’t know. But I’m going into this cave... you can come with me... or you 
can stay here!” With 
these words she started to climb up the dunes. 
Tom shook his head. “You’re a damned stubborn Klingon, do you know that?” 
“P’Tahk!” B’Elanna snapped and Tom sighed. 
“Okay... I’ve no other choice but to go with you! This is totally crazy! What do 
you expect in this 
cave? The communicator was found in the ocean!” 
B’Elanna turned. “Maybe... our paradise is having more than only one dark 
secret!” she mentioned, 
then they made their way to search for the entry of the cave.

End of Part III – look out for part IV “Strange behavior”

01/13/01

Memorial vacations written by Ainoyume

Part 4 – Strange behavior

Kathryn didn’t know, how long she had been held there. She had to witness a 
murder, that was more 
than she was able to stand. Yeah, she was Captain of a starship and should be 
able to handle hopeless 
situations, but this was different. She was convinced, that nobody would have 
been able to bear a 
situation like that. And besides Chakotay hadn’t supported her affords to rescue 
the woman’s life. He 
was completely different. Sure, he didn’t feel well, but she was still sure, 
that they could have been 
able to prevent the murder if he had just helped her. So she stayed away from 
him. She didn’t even 
want to talk to him let alone being held by him. 
“Kathryn? What’s up?”
“What’s up?” she asked angrily. “I should slap you only for this question! 
Chakotay! We’ve always 
agreed when we talked about the worth of people’s life! But what you did this 
morning wasn’t life-
saving at all! You sacrificed the woman for your safety!”
“Kathryn!”
“I’m not ready yet! Worse! You held me from saving her! Deciding not to help her 
for yourself is one 
thing, preventing me from saving her is another! I don’t like men who know and 
decide what’s best for 
me!” she yelled furiously and didn’t care about the other prisoners who were 
already looking at them.
“Kathryn! All we could achieved was, that both of us would have been killed!”
“That’s no reason!” She turned her back to him. “And I always thought, you were 
different from 
others!” she murmured. “The Lord, Kashyk, Sullivan... and you! I wonder why all 
of them cheat me or 
want to decide what’s best for me! I’m adult! I can take care of myself!”
“You’re unfair!” he said with a tone if hurt in his voice and she closed her 
eyes.
“I know... I’m sorry!”
He touched her shoulders with his hands and pulled her softly against his chest. 
“Kathryn... if we come back to Voyager... do you want to marry me?”
Janeway raised her head. She wasn’t sure whether she had heard right or not. 
“I think... that’s the most unfavorable moment you could choose for this 
question!” she complained 
and he shrugged.
“What’s the answer?”
Thinking for a moment, Kathryn finally smiled. “Maybe you’re right and I need to 
think of anything 
else. If we come out of here... I’d follow you to the end of the universe!” she 
murmured and buried her 
face at his chest. Suddenly she started to sob. All the tension which had built 
up in her was released 
now. She couldn’t hide her tears anymore and Chakotay closed his arms around 
her. 
“Shht...” he whispered over and over again. “Everything’s all right!”
“I can’t forget her!” Kathryn whispered. “This woman... I...” she interrupted 
herself and allowed 
herself to only sob and feel save in his arms.

Kathryn wasn’t able to remember three days later what exactly had happened. When 
she saw at least 
forty crewmen of Voyager storm into the cave she had already been in a special 
state of agony, which 
protected her from deep psychological harms. Later she heard from Tuvok, that 
they had to thank 
B’Elanna intuition for their rescue. The Klingon had found the entry to the cave 
and explored it on her 
own (which had led Tuvok at first to punish her), then she had found a large 
cave system and her 
tricorder had signalized many life forms. She had reported to Tuvok immediately 
and they had been 
able to save all poor people who were imprisoned there. Now they had already 
been able to send them 
back to their homeworlds. Kathryn, who had been in stasis for several days found 
it hard to think about 
what had happened. The doctor had set her into stasis because he thought that in 
that way she would 
recover better from her physical as well as from her psychical harms. 
“But, Captain!” The doctor finally released her. “Take it easy for a few days, 
okay?”
“All right, doctor!” she smiled and left sickbay. She was too much in her 
thoughts, so much that she 
ran against B’Elanna, who was on her way to sickbay. “sorry!” Kathryn murmured 
and smiled 
confused. B’Elanna looked after her. 
“Captain!”
“Huh?” Kathryn turned.
“Maybe... we... I mean... If you need someone to talk to... you know, where my 
quarters are, don’t 
you?” she offered and Kathryn smiled. 
“Thank you, Lieutenant, but I think that won’t be necessary.”
The worried gaze of B’Elanna Torres followed her until she was out of sight.

End of Part IV – look out for part V “Marriage... almost”

02/14/01

Memorial vacations written by Ainoyume

Part 5 – Marriage... almost

Two weeks had passed. The first time, Kathryn had barely spoken a word with her 
first officer and so 
she hadn’t recognized his closeness and worse, coldness. B’Elanna was the one 
who had called her 
attention to Chakotay’s changed behavior. So they had spent an evening together, 
one of their usual 
dinners which they had used to have once a week before the incident on the 
‘hell-planet’ had 
happened. That evening she had also asked him about their conversation on the 
planet and the 
marriage. He had reacted reserved, but had finally agreed. And so at a Tuesday 
morning a nervous 
Kathryn Janeway stood in her quarters in front of the mirror, trying despairing 
to bring the mess of her 
hairs into an acceptable order. While she fought that hopeless battle, she 
rehearsed her sentence. 
“Yes... I want!” She felt so stupid to talk to the mirror that she started to 
giggle especially when she 
realized that B’Elanna was watching her amused.
“Nervous? Remember it’s the most important day of your life!” she smiled and 
helped the woman to 
order her hairs. “What do you think about just leave them open? Chakotay likes 
you with open hairs!” 
the klingon proposed and Kathryn turned unsure. 
“You think so?”
“I know! Believe me, I’m his best friend!”
Kathryn loosened the band around her hair and nodded. “Fine.” Then she smoothed 
her parade 
uniform and stretched her back. “Ready!”
“Okay! The others are waiting! I’ll go and fetch Tuvok!” B’Elanna left the room 
and Kathryn looked 
one last time at the picture which was still standing on her commode. It showed 
her former lover Mark 
with her dog Petunia in his arms. Five years ago she had felt a pain, looking at 
the picture, now she felt 
nothing. And so she knew, her decision was right. She had give Mark up long ago. 
It was time for 
letting a new man in her life. She would be the wife of Chakotay. When she 
realized the impact of this 
sentence, the meaning, she shivered a bit. This was the most amazing risk she 
had ever taken in life. 
She knew, Chakotay and she were quarreling a lot. And they were both stubborn. 
But she also knew 
that he loved her, no matter which mistake she had made. Besides a marriage got 
only interesting with 
some risks. So she took a deep breath and stepped out of her quarters, where 
Tuvok was waiting. 
“Captain!” He offered his arm to her and Kathryn laid her hand on it. When they 
entered mess, she 
was more nervous, than she’d ever been before. Tuvok brought her to Chakotay and 
Kathryn smiled 
unsure. He took her hand and kissed it. 
“You’re looking beautiful!” he said, but she froze. His eyes were talking a 
completely different 
language from his eyes. What was up with him? Deep inside she knew, this was a 
terrible mistake.
“We came together here today for these two people who was to close a bond for 
live.” Tom Paris 
started and B’Elanna nodded encouraging towards Kathryn. 
“They’ve been working together for six years now, they brought us through the 
most dangerous and 
hopeless situations and they are our friends. We all wish them luck. Let’s hope 
that their ‘marriage-
disputes’ won’t affect the crew.” He grinned. “Captain Kathryn Janeway... do you 
want to marry 
Commander Chakotay and love and respect him without being unfaithful, then 
answer with ‘Yes’.”
“Yes!” Kathryn replied.
“Commander Chakotay, do you want to marry Captain Kathryn Janeway and love and 
respect her 
without being unfaithful, then answer with ‘Yes’!”
Silence. Kathryn looked confused at the man next to her. No reaction. 
“Chakotay?” she asked. Suddenly he turned, grabbed her and pressed his phaser to 
her side. Kathryn 
gasped. 
“What are you doing?”
“Shut up!” he blew her up and looked threatening around. “If anyone moves, I’ll 
kill her and the 
person! And believe me, I’m fast at shooting!”
Kathryn followed him, when he pulled her harshly with him. “Chakotay! What’s up 
with you?”
“SHUT UP, OR...” he left the rest of the sentence unspoken. B’Elanna stepped 
forward. 
“Chakotay!”
“And you shut up too!” he exclaimed angrily, but B’Elanna didn’t pay attention.
“You’re a pig!” B’Elanna yelled out and threw herself furiously against him. He 
pushed Kathryn to the 
ground and started to fight with B’Elanna. The Klingon won the battle and was 
able to take the phaser 
away. Kathryn got up from the ground. Her face showed no emotion, but the people 
who knew her 
well enough saw the pain in her eyes. 
“Take him to brig!” she ordered coldly and Chakotay was pulled up. Kathryn stood 
in front of him and 
looked directly into his eyes. 
“I want to now only one thing. Why?” she whispered nearly soundless and Chakotay 
laughed.
“Why? It’s you who’s asking that? I hate you! You and your goddamned protocol. 
Prime directive, 
federation! I can’t hear them any longer!”
“And...” she had to fight back tears. “...did you forget everything about us?”
“Us?!? There’s never been an US!” he said coldly and Kathryn turned around and 
went away. 
“Arrest him!” she managed to order Tuvok, then she ran out of the mess hall. No 
one followed her. 
They knew, that their Captain needed time for herself now.

The door chime rang two times, until Kathryn Janeway sighed. 
“Come in!” When the door opened, B’Elanna entered, on her hands a plate with 
banana pancake. 
“Hi!” she said smiling and set the plate on the table. 
Kathryn looked at her. “Anything special?”
“I... thought you’d like to eat a bit. I always get a bit happier, if I eat 
those pancakes! Try it!”
“I’m not hungry!”
“But you gotta eat!” B’Elanna sat down and looked at the woman. “Captain! 
I’ve... a good message for 
you!” she finally said, but Kathryn got up and went into her bathroom.
“I’m not interested in any sort of messages!”
“The doctor did some medical scans of Chakotay and after he’d analyzed his data, 
he found out, that a 
strange personality has taken possess of his mind! He isn’t himself!” 
Now Kathryn looked out of the bathroom. “What?”
“Yeah! And the doctor is already trying to find a method to bring Chakotay back. 
He’s already 
managed to replicate a cure which brought him back for about two minutes. And 
his first question was, 
how you are!” B’Elanna took Kathryn’s hand. “He really loves you! He wasn’t able 
to remember 
anything that happens in the mess!”
“May I see him?” Kathryn asked and a spark of hope shimmered in her eyes. 
B’Elanna grinned.
“Sure! I’ll advise the doctor to prepare another hypospray of cure! I’ll await 
you in sickbay within five 
minutes!” She left. Kathryn smiled after her. Her world looked much brighter 
from now on. She had 
really thought that Chakotay had cheated and betrayed her, but it seemed that 
everything that had 
happened wasn’t his fault at all. And she couldn’t have stand if another man had 
betrayed her. She had 
lost too many people she loved in her live. So she made her way to sickbay. When 
she entered it, the 
doctor had just give the cure to the Indian who turned towards her now. He 
smiled. Kathryn stepped to 
him and stopped just before him. 
“Hi!” she greeted him and he laughed.
“Hi back!”
She hesitated to say or do anything because she wasn’t sure how many things he 
remembered from 
what had happened. But when he softly closed his arms around her body, she 
leaned against him and 
all the tension broke free. 
“I’m so glad, it wasn’t you!” she whispered under hidden tears. 
“B’Elanna told me, what I’ve done! I’m so sorry, Kathryn! I... You should think, 
I love you enough to 
fight against another personality which wants to do a harm to you. But I failed. 
So much on ‘I’ll 
protect you’.” He mentioned bitterly and Kathryn looked up.
“Don’t blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault! We’ll search for a cure, which will 
free you from the 
strange entity forever.”
He covered her cheek with his hand and looked softly into her eyes. “It’s as 
though I could see the 
stranger. I... fight him, but if he’s there, I can’t see, what’s happening in 
real world!”
“We’ll help you!” Kathryn promised, when Chakotay suddenly held his head in 
pain. 
“You... you better go away... I... feel him coming back. And... I don’t want to 
hurt you!” 
As he said that, Kathryn stepped back and observed as his behavior changed. 
“Doctor!” The hologram reacted immediately. 
“Computer! Create a force-field around station alpha four in sickbay.” The 
invisible walls of the field 
shimmered when it materialized. Kathryn touched it with her hand and Chakotay 
touched the other 
side.
“Kathryn... I want you to know that... that I love you!”
“Don’t say goodbye, Commander! Fight it! That’s an order!” she said with tears 
in her eyes and he 
realized, that he’d never seen tears in her eyes during those six years they 
were together. 
“I promise, that we’ll run your favorite holo-program, when I’m normal again. 
That one on the lake by 
moonlight!” he said when he suddenly changed. Then he beat against the force-
field. 
“Damned excuse for a hologram! Leave me out of here!” 
The doctor pulled Kathryn away from the force-field. “You better leave now! I 
promise that I’ll do 
everything to help him.”
Kathryn nodded and turned. At the door she turned once again and her eyes met 
Chakotay’s. She felt a 
strange connection to his mind. Maybe she... no, ridiculous! She left sickbay, 
but with a new idea. 

End of Part V – look out for part VI “Spiritual Journey”

02/17/01

Memorial vacations written by Ainoyume

Part 6 – Spiritual Journey

“Akoo-chemoyah. We are far away from the sacred places of our grandfathers!” 
Kathryn Janeway had 
closed her eyes, trying to reach the state of a vision. Maybe that would give 
her a solution. And 
Chakotay had allowed her to use his medicine bundle. So she tried desperately to 
remember any details 
of what he’d said once. 
“We... are far from the bones of our... ancestors.” She stuttered, then she 
suddenly remembered what 
he’d said once. ‘It isn’t important, what you say... it’s important what you 
feel. You have to open 
yourself for the unknown, the unreal and irrational. If you doubt your vision 
quest, you’ll not be 
successful.’ She concentrated completely on his voice and it seemed to her as if 
he was sitting there, in 
front of her, teaching her in Indian meditation rituals. Then, suddenly, when 
she opened her eyes, she 
was on a beautiful field near an ocean. Yes, she knew this place. She had once 
been here, on her first 
spiritual journey when she had tried to contact her animal guide for the first 
time. When she looked 
around, she soon discovered her spirit guide, a lizard. She just observed the 
little animal, until it began 
to speak. 
“I see, why you’re here, Kathryn! You expect me to help you, but I’m afraid I 
can just help you to find 
a solution on your own.”
“You don’t have an answer?” Kathryn asked, kind of disappointed. 
“Of course not! I’m not an oracle! If you aren’t content with what I offer to 
you, maybe you better 
leave!”
“No! I need your help! I’m... alone! I don’t know how to get out of this!” 
Kathryn pleaded. 
The lizard made a sound which sounded as if it laughed. “Of course you don’t 
find a solution. You’ve 
always been too much of a rationalist! Try any unconventional methods!”
“Which would be?”
“Try to contact his spirit guide!”
“Can I do this?”
“If you believe, that you can, you can!”
Kathryn doubted and the lizard seemed to sense her feelings. 
“If you’re not prepared maybe you better search for a solution in your rational 
world!”
“NO! I will try! If you help me!”
“I am not able to help you! I’m only your guide! I lead you to the cliff, but I 
don’t explain you how to 
jump! You have to do that on your own. Nobody can assure you that it will work, 
nor say what is 
going to happen!”
Kathryn stood there for a long time. “So you say... I have to jump... where? 
How?”
“Only you have the answer to those questions!”
Kathryn closed her eyes and searched for an answer inside of her. Help me... 
whoever is out there! 
Help me to find his spirit guide! Help me to make contact with him! She pleaded 
over and over again to 
some invisible entity which might be out there somewhere. And suddenly she 
sensed something. An 
energy, an aura, she didn’t know. Anything which made her open her eyes. She was 
in complete 
darkness. But there was still the feeling, that somebody was around her. She 
gave herself to the energy, 
let it surround her. It gave her a feeling of flying but strangely she didn’t 
fear anything. She just let it 
happen. She closed her eyes again to go deeper into that darkness, to explore 
its wideness, to feel the 
energy, until she was blinded by a bright light. At first she closed her eyes, 
then she slowly opened 
them. The light didn’t really hurt her. She just stared into it. Then she 
realized that she was able to 
went forward and she stepped directly into the light. The next moment she stood 
in a forest directly 
face to face with a hawk. She got to her knees and looked at the animal. 
“Well done!”
The voice of her own animal guide made her look to her side. “Is this Chakotay’s 
animal guide?”
“It is!”
Kathryn looked up and saw Chakotay step out of the forest. He looked at her 
doubtful. Kathryn lifted 
her hands. 
“I know, what you’re going to say! It wasn’t my right to do this without your 
permission, but I want to 
help you and you were not available!” she justified herself, but Chakotay shook 
his head.
“No, that wasn’t what I mean. Normally... a vision quest like this, when you try 
to connect two 
spirits... doesn’t work, except...” he stopped abruptly.
“Except what?” Kathryn asked, but Chakotay shook his head. 
“Never mind.”
“We need to find a way to help you! Where’s the strange entity?” Kathryn 
interviewed her first officer, 
but he shook his head.
“I don’t know. I’m only here, except the moments you take me back to reality 
with the cure of the 
doctor. But I can sense him.” He answered and Kathryn looked at her lizard. The 
little animal shook its 
little head. 
“Don’t have this question in your eyes! As I said, I can only lead you! But you 
have to find the 
answers!”
“Al right, I understood!” Kathryn sighed desperate, when she felt Chakotay 
taking her hands. 
“I can possibly connect our spirits more! Much more... but...”
“But?” Kathryn asked and prepared herself for a big sacrifice. 
“I’ll be able to see everything in your mind. No more secrets. You’ll see the 
same in me!” Kathryn 
retired and pulled her hands to her chest. Her mind raced to find another idea. 
“There’s no other way?” she asked and Chakotay shrugged his shoulders.
“I don’t know! There are very little example in the past for a vision quest like 
this and the only way 
which I’ve heard of to connect the spirit completely is, what I’ve just 
proposed.” He answered 
sincerely. “But maybe there is another way! Unfortunately I’m not able to do my 
own vision quest, 
otherwise I could possibly be able to contact the spirit of my father and ask 
him for help.”
There was a long silence. Then, Kathryn finally whispered: “Okay!”
“Kathryn... you needn’t do this! I know, it’s a great sacrifice for you, and if 
you don’t...”
“Shut the hell up!” The woman said and took his hands. “No matter if we’ll get 
finally a couple or just 
remain friends! You mean very much to me! And if I’m able to help you... and 
this is the only way, 
I’m prepared to do it!” she announced determined. 
Chakotay was still looking doubtful. “You sure? Remember, I’ll see every part of 
you. Even the 
darkest!”
Kathryn grinned. “What the hell do you expect? Some murders I committed in my 
youth?”
He smiled softly. “Okay!” He pulled her closer to his body. “I don’t know 
exactly what to do!”
“Neither do I!” Kathryn replied and resisted the urge to looked questioning at 
the lizard. She looked 
deeply into the eyes of the man she loved. And suddenly she felt dizzy. He let 
her in to his mind, she 
had just to do the final step... but how? Both of them closed their eyes. 
Kathryn still felt the hands of 
Chakotay, holding hers, then the feeling finally disappeared as well. Images 
filled her mind which 
seemed mysteriously confidential to her although she had never seen them before. 
An old man, 
Chakotay’s father, his whole past went before her eyes in seconds. So many 
pictures went into her 
mind that she almost became unconscious. But she felt the strength of another 
mind which made 
strengthened her own mind. And then the images stopped and she felt so complete 
as she hadn’t done 
in years. She felt stronger and stronger, until she could suddenly feel a 
strange present. She worked in 
unison with the mind of Chakotay. Intuitively they knew what to do. They felt as 
the present became 
weaker and weaker. And the weaker it got, the stronger got they. It disappeared 
and after it was gone, 
Kathryn let herself drift for a little more moments in this wonderful feeling of 
peace. Then she opened 
her eyes and looked into Chakotay’s eyes. He had opened his eyes at the same 
moment she had done. 
“Thank you!” he whispered and smiled. “I’ll never forget this! We have to 
separate now!”
“All right! But tell me one little thing! Is it true what I learned? Two minds 
are only able to melt like 
this if...”
“Shht!” He closed her mouth with his fingers. “I don’t want that to influence 
you in any way!”
“But... it’s true? Two minds can only melt like this if they’re... two minds 
which belong together?”
“Yeah! That’s what I’ve been told! Maybe it’s just a romantic story!”
“It isn’t!” Kathryn whispered. “I don’t want it to be a story!”
He pulled her close to him and covered her mouth softly with his. Kathryn closed 
her arms around his 
neck and held him so tight as though she was afraid to loose him again. When he 
finally broke the kiss, 
she sighed regretful. He laughed slightly. 
“This is a vision, remember? We gotta go back into the real world!”
She nodded and loosened from him. Then she stepped back. 
“Chakotay! I want you to say one more thing! I don’t think, you’re responsible 
for what happened, 
so... please don’t feel guilty anymore!”
“I don’t know, if I can loose this feeling that easy! I promised you to protect 
you, and one guy gives 
me a hypospray and I turn to Mr. High! That’s scaring!”
Kathryn smiled then she closed her eyes. “I love you!” she whispered, then she 
suddenly felt as if she 
fell down a large cliff. She opened her eyes and looked into bright light. 
“Where... am I?” moaned the woman tortured and looked into the face of the 
doctor who bend over 
her.
“In sickbay! You decided to do some kind of spiritual practice in Commander 
Chakotay’s quarters. 
When you didn’t report to the early shift yesterday morning, Tuvok looked for 
you and found you 
unconsciousness. He brought you here. You were without consciousness for over 
two days!”
“That long???” Kathryn sat upright, but the doctor pushed her back.
“Take it easy!” He ordered and gave her a hypospray. “During the last two days 
your mind was in a 
constant state of hyperstimulation. I thought, we’d loose you because of the 
overstimulation of regions 
of the brain which have normally  never been used by humans. Next time, when you 
plan to do some 
sort of ‘meditation experiment’ you better consult me BEFORE you are an 
emergency.” 
“Doctor! How is Commander Chakotay?”
“He woke up a few minutes before you did. He seem to have recovered completely. 
I don’t understand, 
how, but he did! Although... for several times, his brain was in the same state 
as yours. But I think, 
there’s no connection between the two!”
Kathryn smiled. “Thank you, doctor!”
Then she drifted into sleep again.

End of Part VI – look out for part VII “Maorian Summer Festival”

02/17/01 – 11.20 p.m.

Memorial vacations written by Ainoyume

Part 7 – Maorian Summer Festival

“Hi!” 
Kathryn looked up from her book, when Chakotay entered the holodeck and went 
towards her. 
“Come in!” she said ironically, because he was already inside the room. The man 
lifted his hands. 
“I’m sorry, but I need to talk to you!”
“Oh... really! I still have a free day, remember? And after everything that 
happened... I’d prefer to just 
lie here and read this beautiful love novel. No murders, no marriages... simply 
love!” she snapped and 
sighed the next moment. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to sound that harsh to you!”
“Oh, it’s alright! I can talk to you tomorrow if you prefer!” he said friendly 
and now she said up from 
her deck chair.
“No... stay!” she said. “I’m glad you’re here!”
“Oh... your words before made me believe, I came at a very bad time!” he said 
amused and Kathryn 
smiled shyly. 
“As I said... sorry!” She signalized him to take place on the chair next to her 
and he sat down. For a 
long time either of them stared at the landscape full of green fields and woods. 
Then he finally turned 
to her. 
“Kathryn... don’t you want to join us on the Maori planet?”
“I... don’t know, but I think... I’ve enough of peaceful planets for at least 
the next two months!” she 
said and pulled a face. He couldn’t but laugh.
“Yeah... I see! But... I suggest, you come down for a few hours. Just look at 
it! The Maorians are very 
nice and...”
“Not madly interested. Sorry, but... enjoy yourself down there. I enjoy myself 
here on the holodeck... 
‘kay?”
“Do I have a choice but to be okay with that?”
“No!” Kathryn answered and swallowed a mouthful of her coffee. Then she looked 
at him for a long 
time. He really knew how to get her. “Okay! Okay! But only a few hours! And 
don’t try to convince 
me to amuse myself, understood?”
“Yep!” He offered his hand to help her up and she took it. 
“So... see you then in five minutes! And dress on something easy, okay?”

When they beamed down on the planet’s surface minutes later, Kathryn was 
overwhelmed by its 
beauty. She had expected everything but this. The fields were green and full of 
flowers, just as in her 
holo-novels. In the distance she could see a rive, the water blinking in the 
bright light of the two suns. 
“Wow!” she breathed and shut her eyes for a moment. She loved the feeling of 
warm wind, breezing 
through her hair, playing with the long fabric of her dress. 
“Have I promised too much?”
“No! It’s beautiful! More than that! It’s... fabulous!”
“Good! Kathryn... I have a surprise for you... if you still want it!” Chakotay 
finally opened and 
Kathryn turned to face him.
“What for a surprise?”
He took her hand and led her over a small hill. There she saw his surprise. A 
pavilion had been built up 
and all Voyager crewmembers, together with some inhabitants of the planet stood 
there, preparing 
foods and hanging up garlands.
“What are they doing?”
“Preparing a festival!” Chakotay explained and Kathryn looked. 
“Really?” she said ironically. “And? What else? Do I get a clue what kind of 
festival this is going to 
be?”
“Our marriage!” he said. “But only if you still want to marry me!”
Kathryn took a deep breath and some kind of panic raised in her. “Marriage! 
Yeah... look... This is... a 
bit complicated! I mean... maybe the last marriage was an omen for us not to go 
further in our 
relationship. Don’t you think that it is good as it is at the moment? I mean...”
“You mean, you’re hiding behind your wall of coolness, no matter how other 
people feel!” he said 
sharply.
“No! I mean... I’m simply not sure, if a relationship like this... I mean... I’m 
afraid that it destroys our 
friendship! Chakotay! I’ve never had a better friend... sure, there’s something 
more, for me too, but 
I’m not willing to risk all we have now for some nights!” She sighed loudly. 
“Look...”
“Oh, I see your problem. Kathryn Janeway is afraid of taking a risk!”
“Not at all! I am just able to decide which risk is worth taking! And I think we 
couldn’t get much more 
from a love affair then we’ve now! I trust you... I know, you’re there to speak 
to, and I know that you 
back me! That’s enough, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, you’re afraid!”
“I tried to explain the last minute that I’m not! You don’t listen to what I 
say!” Kathryn said, getting 
slight angrily. 
“I just don’t understand, why you were willing to take the risk a few weeks ago 
and now...”
“I just got the chance to think about it!”
“You think too much!” Chakotay murmured. “Of course, there are so many risks. 
What if we quarrel? 
Will the moral in the crew become a mess? Do we understand? Will it be the same 
relationship? I can 
count thousand risks more! But I always had the opinion that... if you give love 
a chance, it’s more 
what you get than what you risk!”
“That’s not the point!”
“It’s exactly the point! But that’s okay! I accept your decision. Although I 
can’t understand your 
reasons!”
“Chakotay! It’s nothing against you! It’s just... it’s just... I...” she 
stuttered and he touched her cheek.
“Hey! Nothing to be worried about! As I said. I accept your reasons. Let’s do as 
if this scene never 
happened, okay?” he offered and Kathryn nodded, fighting back tears. This wasn’t 
what she wanted 
either. But what did she want? Marriage? Impossible! She was sure, that she 
didn’t want to marry him. 
But she knew that she loved him, so why didn’t she just say yes! She knew, he 
deserved an answer and 
reasons. But did she have reasons at all? Obviously not, and that was why she 
was confused. She was 
afraid to loose him, that was her only reason. Loose him as a friend, loose his 
loyalty as her first 
officer, loose his respect for her as his captain... this was much too 
complicated. She couldn’t just 
throw all her doubts over board only because of her feelings for this man. These 
were her reasons. But 
these were reasons she could never tell him without hurting him because he’d see 
them as a lack of 
trust in him. It wasn’t easy being the Captain of a large starship like Voyager 
and have a love affair 
with one of the people she commanded. Although Chakotay was the man straight 
under her 
command... that was impossible! Friendship... permitted, but friendship was the 
last line and she would 
certainly not cross it! Nobody of the crew understood that, but nobody of them 
had to lead a ship 
either. Chakotay should understand her best of all. He’d been Captain on the 
Marquis ship. Well, she 
thought bitterly, actually he HAD affairs with his subordinated. But this was 
different. He was Captain 
of a MARQUIS ship, not a Starfleet. Starfleet has strict rules, and I can’t just 
override them! 
She was brought out of her thoughts, when they reached the pavilion. They were 
greeted happily by all 
crewmembers. Everybody seemed to await a marriage now. B’Elanna was the first 
one who got to 
know, that there would be no marriage. One look into Chakotay’s eyes was enough. 
Later, when he 
stood alone, the young Klingon went to her friend. 
“You okay?”
“Sure! I’m fine! Why shouldn’t I be!”
“Uh... come on, Chakotay! You can’t tell me, that a rebuff is nothing to be sad 
about. What 
happened?” B’Elanna asked worried and Chakotay laughed bitterly. 
“She changed her mind. She thinks it was an omen, that our first attempt to 
marry failed. And she 
thinks, that we should keep our relationship as it’s now.”
B’Elanna’s eyes sparked with fury. “Shall I fetch her here and...”
“B’Elanna! She’s your Captain! And you won’t do anything to hurt her, 
understood! If you do, I 
swear, I’ll take you to the brig for mutiny!”
“Chakotay!”
“I’m not in the mood to discuss that now! What do you think about...”
“I’ve an idea!” The Klingon suddenly mentioned with a mischief blink in her 
eyes. 
“B’Elanna!” Chakotay warned, but B’Elanna shut him down.
“I’ve got a really perfect idea! Try to imagine! What would she do if she saw 
you flirting with another 
woman?”
“Nothing! In turning me down she permitted me to have other affairs!” Chakotay 
replied and B’Elanna 
looked annoyed.
“Oh boy! You guys don’t know anything about us women! Look! I’ll talk to Crewman 
Langton. When 
it’s time to dance... you two will do a heavy flirt! Which means, that you’ll 
kiss her! Of course this is 
not going to be a real kiss...”
“B’Elanna! I will definitely not use Crewman Langton for this kind of game! I 
don’t want to hurt her 
feelings! What if she has feelings for me? You know, that many female 
Crewmen...”
“Ensign Langton is lesbian, so don’t be afraid of that!” the Klingon explained. 
“So... you’ll kiss while 
you’re dancing. That’s perfect! And then we’ll see, how Janeway reacts!”
“Seems more like a revenge to me!” Chakotay growled, when he noticed B’Elanna’s 
face expression. 
“I don’t want to make her jealous. Your plan is ridiculous and I’ll not permit 
it!”
“Well... then... I have my own methods!”
“I warn you! I warn you as your superior! You’ll be suspended, if you mess up 
the whole situation 
more than it is now!”
“I won’t!” B’Elanna answered then she disappeared.

The Maorians were really very friendly. They supported the party of the 
Federations, as they called the 
crewmembers, as much as they could. They took care for food and brought some 
very tasty fruits, 
when the suns began to set. Kathryn Janeway could almost forget her trouble over 
those nice hosts. 
When the darkness filled their surroundings, the Maorians lightened some 
beautiful, colored lamps and 
started to play soft dance music. Kathryn danced with two Maorians that asked 
her and then she just 
sat in her chair, observing the scene. 
“Hi!” B’Elanna sat down next to her. 
“Hallo!” Kathryn greeted her smiling. “You enjoy the party?”
“Of course!” the Klingon answered. “Ah! Before I forget to tell you... Chakotay 
awaits you there, 
beyond the trees!”
“What?” Kathryn sat up. “And why?”
“I was just supposed to tell you that!”
“Okay... thank you!” Kathryn answered confused and got up. She went slowly to 
the trees and didn’t 
notice B’Elanna’s mischief glance. Then she reached the trees, she went around 
them and stopped 
abruptly. Chakotay was standing there, leaning against a tree and kissing 
Crewman Langton. Kathryn 
gasped for air. 
“Commander!”
Crewman Langton retired from Chakotay in shock. “Ca-captain!” She looked at the 
woman who 
looked really furious. But then Kathryn suddenly turned and went away. When she 
was out of sight, 
Kathryn started to run over the fields. That wasn’t fair. That was really not 
fair! Why did he ask for her 
to come and then... When she had been running for over one mile, she let herself 
fall to the ground and 
started to cry. The tears flew unhidden over her face. She didn’t care about the 
wetness of the grass 
which filled her dress slowly, she didn’t even care about the cold. She didn’t 
want to see this damned 
fraud again. She was in the temper to take his position away and imprison him in 
brig. But she knew, 
that personal feelings must never influence decision which had to do with her 
ship. So all she could do 
was going over it and forget him. Sure, he was a man. She had turned him down... 
so he had searched 
another girl. When she thought about how fast he’s found one, she got furious 
again. Then she touched 
her combadge. 
“Janeway to Voyager!”
“Rollins here, Captain!”
“Beam me up, Lieutenant!”
She felt the familiar tickling on her skin, when she dematerialized. 

End of Part VII – look out for part VIII “Happy End”

02/18/01

Memorial vacations written by Ainoyume

Part 8 – Happy End

Kathryn overheard her door chime the whole evening. She could only guess that it 
was Chakotay, 
coming up with some excuses she would certainly not believe. And besides she 
wasn’t in the mood to 
talk to him now. She couldn’t know, that it was B’Elanna, who wanted to explain 
the whole thing to 
her. The Klingon had talked to Brigitte Langton without Chakotay’s knowledge. 
He’d been as 
overwhelmed as Kathryn when she’d found them kissing. After the scene, Chakotay 
had talked 
seriously to B’Elanna and had described precisely what would happen, if Kathryn 
didn’t want to see 
him in the morning. And B’Elanna knew, he’d do, what he’s said. For one moment, 
the old Marquis 
structures were alive again. And B’Elanna did certainly not want to loose 
Chakotay as her friend. She 
had only wanted to help! Tom Paris tried to calm her.
“It’s alright, honey! It was your fault, okay, but I’m sure, the Captain will 
not be angry on Chakotay!”
“You don’t know her!” B’Elanna answered. “She’ll be angry. She’ll be more than 
only angry! Hell... 
how shall I get out of here!”
“I’ve possibly an idea!” Tom answered thoughtful. “Maybe you should just play 
Fortune once more!”
“Which means?”
“Seven!”
“With al due respect, Tom, but I think, Seven of Nine is the worst person aboard 
this ship to...”
“No!” Tom explained. “Listen. I heard that Captain Janeway ordered her to bring 
her some astrometric 
reports in the morning! We’ll catch Seven! Then you give Chakotay those damned 
reports and go with 
him.”
“That could be working.” B’Elanna said hopefully. 

“Come in!”
Hearing the Captain’s voice, Chakotay and B’Elanna entered. Kathryn didn’t turn 
around, when they 
came in. 
“Good morning, Seven! You can lay the reports down to that table!”
When she heard nothing, she turned around and her mouth fell open. “I expected 
Seven of Nine with 
the astrometric reports!” she said harshly. Chakotay nodded.
“The reports are here!”
“I didn’t know you changed your working station to astrometric lab!” Kathryn 
said coldly and took the 
reports from him. B’Elanna cleared her throat.
“Captain... I think, I’ve to explain something very...” The woman started.
Kathryn nodded. “Go ahead, Lieutenant.”
“Yesterday evening... it was my fault. I... I was so angry at you that you 
turned Chakotay down, that I 
thought, you’d... realize, what you’ve lost, when you see him with another 
woman! And I arranged the 
date. Chakotay didn’t know he’d find Brigitte Langton there! I overran him! And 
then I told you, that 
he’d be waiting for you. It’s... my fault! Everything! I thought... it would 
turn out right at last, but... it 
was wrong! I assure you, that Crewman Langton has no interest in Commander 
Chakotay! She’s an 
affair with Lieutenant Martha Dalby in engineering. She... isn’t interested in 
men! I know, you’re 
angry at me now... and I understand your anger. I’ll take all consequences for 
what I’ve done!” 
B’Elanna wasn’t able to look up. “I’m sorry!” she finished her confession and a 
long silence followed. 
Kathryn Janeway went to the window of her quarter and looked at the stars. 
“You know, that I’m really in the mood to reduce your rank to ensign! But... I 
won’t do that, because 
you’re one of the best in my crew!” Silence. “Nevertheless, I can’t just do as 
if that had never 
happened!”
“Captain!” Chakotay interrupted. “B’Elanna did this for my good, and I was angry 
at her, too. But 
don’t you think, we should be that strict?”
“Commander! I don’t want to have played jokes like that on me every day only 
because I was too nice 
in the first case!” Kathryn countered and faced B’Elanna. “Your replicator 
rations and your holodeck 
times will be reduced to fifty percent for the next month. Nearby you’ll absolve 
an extra shift in the 
mess, helping Neelix every day, understood?”
“Aye Captain!” B’Elanna answered crestfallen. 
“You’re dismissed!” Kathryn then said cold and B’Elanna turned. When she had 
left the room, 
Chakotay went to her. Kathryn looked at him. 
“You’re dismissed as well!” she remembered, but Chakotay didn’t care. 
“Know what, Kathryn Janeway? You’re the most stubborn, arrogant and cold woman 
I’ve ever 
known!” he scolded. “But you’re also the most beautiful, fascinating and sweet 
woman. I love you!” 
and with these words he pulled her to his chest and kissed her under her 
protest. She softened under his 
kiss and when he withdrew form her mouth, she looked at him warmly. Tears 
blinked in her eyes.
“Oh Chakotay! I’m so sorry!”
“No, I am! I shouldn’t have let myself overwhelm that easy.”
“Nonsense!” Kathryn whispered, holding him tight. “I have to apologize! I lied 
to you yesterday. You 
were right. I am afraid! I am damned afraid! I am afraid of what will happen to 
this ship if we quarrel! 
I’m afraid of loosing your respect! I’m afraid of loosing you as a friend, 
and...”
“Shht!” he silenced her with a soft kiss. “I’ll never, and I mark, NEVER 
question your command! If 
we’re on duty, we’re Captain and Commander. No question about that. And what do 
you mean with 
loosing me as your friend? Do you think when we turn our relationship into a 
love affair that it will 
change that much?” he asked and looked deeply into her eyes. “I know, what you 
feel for me, Kathryn! 
I’ve known in years! Since we were on this planet, New Earth. Actually I loved 
you before this time. 
You know... when I first met you... I was determined to fight you and your 
damned Starfleet protocol. 
But you beat me, Kathryn! And you didn’t even know! I knew, that I had to deal 
with my feelings, 
because I was sure, you would never feel the same. At least since I saw the 
photo of this tough guy on 
your side, Mark. I thought Wow. He’s a gentleman. A rebel like me will never 
have a chance! And so I 
gave up hope! But then we were on New Earth, and I sensed, you had the same 
feelings! Since then I 
could never think of any woman but you!”
Kathryn was speechless at the sight of this confession. 
“Chakotay!” she whispered shocked. “Why did you never say a word!”
“I thought, you’d know how I feel!”
“I... wasn’t sure, because you were just so... normal after New Earth! Sure... 
we had those Late night 
dinners, but all we had to talk about was work. Not the ideal circumstances for 
a love affair. At least I 
think so!”
“Oh, Kathryn! I knew a thousand other things to talk about, but you were... you 
were always staring 
about work again, and so I thought, you weren’t interested... And I didn’t want 
to mess up our 
relationship in confessing feelings to you, you did not return!”
“But... I felt the same! I know, I was always cold, because... I was afraid! I 
was afraid about what 
would happen if we did something ill-considered!”
Either of them looked into the other’s eyes. “Idiot!” they said then at the same 
time. Kathryn laughed.
“Same thought, huh?”
“Already forgot? Our minds are connected!” he whispered and stroke one hair 
strand out of her face. 
“At least that was what you wanted to believe! And I know it’s true! You’re so 
contradicted to me, but 
somehow I always felt, that we are the same! I found my peace in working with 
you!”
“Stop this!” Kathryn ordered weakly. “Except you want me start to cry!”
“No!” He hugged her softly. “I love you! And I have a proposition. We don’t 
marry! You know... I’m 
convinced anyway, that marriage destroys a relationship. So we just live, like 
we do now! And when 
you feel ready to marry... someday... maybe twenty or thirty years, we’ll 
marry!” he suggested and 
Kathryn nodded.
“Agreed.” They just held each other for a moment, then Kathryn looked up. “Don’t 
you think, I should 
release B’Elanna from her punishment? Actually she did achieve what she wanted 
to! Imagine she 
hadn’t conspired with Crewman Langton. I wouldn’t have been angry and we would 
never have talked 
like we have just done.”
“You’re right! The poor does already have a bad conscience!” 
“Although... we should possibly leave her in the faith, that she is responsible 
for our dispute another 
hour.”
“Agreed! So I still have an hour with you! What do you think? Shall we run you 
holo-program?”
“Great idea!” 
Hand in hand they left Kathryn’s quarters. 

THE END

02/18/01 – 8.50 p.m.


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